'How dare you deny my power, you simple star?'
You don't have reach any back row to become a king; you just have to slip on the 686 Checkers T-Shirt and assume the throne with an empty beer case crown on your head. From that moment on, you make all lowly peons kiss your sandaled feet (no matter how long it's been since you've showered) while you curse the sun for not shining on the day you go to the beach.
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Does What You'd Expect and More!
This fantastic shirt does everything you'd ever ask for and more. You know that thing between your head and your legs? Yeah, the ripply mess of muscles and hotness? It must be hard for you to function with all the girls that are all over you 24/7. Well, this shirt won't help you much in fending them off. All those businesses that say no shirt, no shoes, no service, well, wear this shirt for the 2% of the time you need to cover up, and STILL get the girls. Wear the green when you want to be yourself and stand out for the paparazzi you have as a boarding superstar, and the brown when you need to get away stealthy with the 15 girls on your arm.