Take the money and run.
The Comune Men’s Banks Full-Zip Hooded Sweatshirt knows you sit down to pee—even if there’s a urinal free. Given that little piece of knowledge, you might consider wearing this comfortable cotton hoody at least once a week, otherwise it might use your mildly effeminate restroom habits to blackmail your ass.
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I looked for a long time for a sweatshirt with dual pockets like this: hands in the side pockets, behind top-open pockets for kleenex and whatever else.
This one is great. Soft fabric, a hood with a drawstring that doesn't get in the way but can snug it close when needed. I could do without the extra zipper down the front, but the rest makes up for that.
Usually I'd buy a black sweatshirt, but the pale grey shows up well as a nighttime pedestrian.
My only complaint is that some of the stitching on one pocket came loose within a couple of weeks. Should be easy to mend.