Maaaaaawm, I can't turn the volume down during the light saber duel.
Life on the couch has gotten too hard. It's seriously stressing you out to balance double-butter pop corn on one leg and the remote on the other. Thankfully, you can grab the Dakine Men's De-Stressed T-Shirt and go play foosball in the basement with your roommate who has a broken ankle. You'll win, feel relaxed and euphoric, and then you can handle more movies, as long as your chilled mug has a straw in it.