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Cops say turn him in; DC says join him.

A biking menace has been terrorizing the city by planting unapproved gardens and taking recyclables from trash cans by the cover of darkness. The DC Ferocious Full-Zip Hoody has been identified as the dark biker's cloak of disguise. Authorities claim that the dark, sleek look of the hoody has eluded their search, and that the thermal-lining must give the dark biker great breathability for pedaling hard all night long. They also blame the fur-lined hood because it hides his main physical characteristics and keeps him warm despite the chill that keeps them inside their idling police cruisers.

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