You wake up locked in a chicken coop, surrounded by slack-jawed yokels slurping moonshine while setting up a large spit. Thankfully, you have the DC Men's Upside T-Shirt to keep you cool and comfortable while you devise a way out of your precarious situation. As you ponder a means of escape, you notice a uni-brow beauty eying your boyish good-looks. 'May I pour you a glass of delicious milk', you ask. She cannot refuse your DC style, and the offering of lactose libation seals the deal.