You bust ass in the winter—packing down the perfect booter, lapping the pipe, and dialing in your park routine. But when summer rolls around, all that discipline goes down the shitter, and beer, beer, BBQs, and more beer take its place.

Want to get in shape for the upcoming season, but don’t want to waste your summer doing lame things like running and lifting weights? Here are some workouts that will get you ripped, but won’t kill your buzz.

Wheelbarrow Beer Push

What you need:

• 1 Wheelbarrow
• 3 Cubes of Natty Light
• 4 - 5 Friends
• 1 Steep hill

What to do:

Load up your ’barrow with 2 cubes or 60 ’Stones. Place the remaining 30-pack at the top of the hill. Push the wheelbarrow up the hill. Take three beers from the cube at the top, add them to the wheelbarrow. Take two, drink, scurry down hill. Repeat. If we’ve done the math correctly, you should get up the hill six times, increasing your load by 18 beers, and put a 12-beer dent in your supply. Let your friends split the remaining beverages, and then take turns pushing each other home in the wheelbarrow

What it does:

This exercise teaches your body to control a dynamic load and increases endurance. It will also get you drunk enough to go 80s dancing with your girlfriend.

Do not attempt to enjoy a beer out of the wheelbarrow immediately after pushing it uphill.

This activity may result in a WUI charge (Wheelbarrowing Under the Influence).

Never overestimate your wheelbarrowing skills.

Twister

What you need:

• 1 Twister mat
• At least 3 friends

What to do:

Everyone should know how to play Twister. If you’ve never played it, well, frankly, we feel sorry for you. And instructions come with damn game.
However, we did make a couple of minor adjustments to said instructions. First of all, when a color is called, you should place your hand or foot on the polka dot that’s hardest to reach. Second, the color caller should wait 30 seconds before calling the next move, in order to optimize stretching.

What it does:

This exercise improves flexibility by stretching muscles you didn’t even know you had, and it may redefine your relationship with your snowboarding “buddy”.

Do not play Twister with your sister.

Interpretive Rollerblading

What you need:

• 1 Pair rollerblades
• Short shorts, stretchy clothing, or a flowy dress
• CD of your choice

What to do:

Interpretive rollerblading is really up to you. Interpret your birth, become a cloud, re-enact your frustration upon finding nothing but bad cantaloupe in the produce section—just lose yourself in the dance. Feel the cold hospital table, become the cloud, squeeze the cantaloupe. Pantomiming is encouraged. You can also focus your dance mainly on creating shapes with your body.

For example:

*Note: Wheels offer many artistic opportunities—use your rollerblades to your full advantage. The skatepark is a great place to express yourself.

What it does:

This exercise improves your style and technique, and it can also help you tune in with nature.

Interpretive rollerblading will most likely result in a skateboarder-inflicted beat-down.

Freestyle Walking

What you need:

• Shoes (preferably Soaps or skate shoes)
• Feet

What to do:

Start off small. Practice jumping from one sidewalk crack to the next, landing with both feet together, and then landing on just one foot. Move on to curb grinds, gap jumps, fence stalls, and tic tacs. After a good warm-up, muster up some liquid courage and try some rail slides, hood plants, and maybe even the rarely seen wall flip. Watch these professionals for a good idea of what to do:

What it does:

This exercise teaches you to keep your eye out for natural terrain features and improves your explosive power. It also makes you look super cool to the max.

Concrete is hard.

Chasing Cheese

What you need:

• 1 Wheel of Gloucestershire cheese
• 1 Steep hill
• Health insurance

Health insurance

What to do:

Stand at the top of the hill. Have someone send the cheese wheel rolling downhill. Wait three seconds. Run after the cheese with hilarious results.
If possible, travel to Cooper Hill in Gloucester, UK to compete in the official Gloucester Cheese Roll.

What it does:

This exercise teaches you how to take a fall. It also teaches you not to be a big fat baby if you hurt yourself.

DO NOT eat the cheese.

Dog Squats

What you need:

• 1 Dog
• Dog treats

What to do:

Lift your dog over your shoulders so his belly rests on your neck, his front legs on your right shoulder, his back legs on your left. Squat down until your butt is in line with your knees. Proper form is necessary for dog squats. Your posture should look like you’re sitting in a chair, with your weight back on your heels. Keep your toes in view, and don’t bend your knees too far forward. Count to 3 on the way down and the way up, and do up to 3 sets of 10 reps. Give your dog a treat after each set.

*Note: You can also perform this exercise with a younger sibling or a small friend.

What it does:

This exercise strengthens your thighs so you can ride longer.

Do not attempt this exercise with an unfamiliar dog.

Skateboard Sword-Fighting

What you need:

• Garb: long tunic, leggings, protective armor, protective eyewear
• Shields: an old shipping box or a retired skateboard deck will work
• Swords: use rolled up posters, your mom’s ski poles, or yardsticks if you’re too scared to use real swords

What to do:

Attempt to jab your opponent with your sword. You can play first-person-to jab-the-other-10-times-wins, or just wait until one of you is too bruised to continue. If you’re not sure what to do, check out these middle-aged dorks:

*Note: Stand on skateboards to improve your agility in a more realistic snowboard stance.

What it does:

This exercise improves reaction time and balance and will help you fight off skiers attempting to poach your stash.

The use of real swords is not endorsed by Dogfunk.com

And there you have it: a workout schedule that will get you ripped for riding and would bring a tear of pride to Rocky’s eye.