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Spring is almost here. You spent all winter training so you would be in prime condition to bite off your first 30-mile mouthful of singletrack this spring, right? Sure you did. What you need is a truly incredible destination to remind you how fat and useless you became over the winter. We have you covered.

Asheville, North Carolina

Overview: Our first destination is Asheville, a town of roughly 85,000 that some call the cultural center of the south. Tucked into the Blue Ridge Mountains with easy access to The Blue Ridge Parkway (the 94th Wonder of the World), Asheville provides outdoor opportunities for all types of nature-lovers, including those too old, weak, and out-of-shape to leave the comfort and protection of their 4-ton lux-o-cruisers. For those of you who require more than leaf-watching to fuel the athletic fires, Asheville offers an impressive variety of world-class mountain bike trails.

We have a few suggestions that will give you a small taste of the extensive Western North Carolina trail system. The first two trails are located in the Bent Creek Experimental Forest, which is 20 minutes south of downtown Asheville. The third trail is located in Pisgah National Forest, just northeast of Asheville. For detailed trail beta, we would suggest talking to Marty Gallagher at Pro-Bikes. Happy hunting!

Beginner: Boyd Branch Loop - 1.75 miles
This one is good for those of you with kids, boyfriends, girlfriends, nephews, and grandmothers who have never ridden singletrack before. It starts off with a mellow, gradual fire-road climb to get the legs heated up and the confidence moving forward. The gravel-road climb is followed by a singletrack descent that gives experienced riders a nice chunk of time to do their taxes or take a much-needed nap, while novice riders will feel like they have a shot at Olympic hardware as they fly through the trees.
Hydration: A standard 20-ounce bottle should take care of you.
Suggested listening: Arthur Smith - Dueling Banjos

Intermediate: Daniel Ridge - 4 miles
This four-mile loop rocks because of the solid pay-off without the spirit-crushing climb. There isn't anything too steep here, and it includes enough rocks, roots, and techy spots to keep it interesting. It also gives you some beautiful sightseeing, with pretty creek crossings, rhododendron tunnels, and the 160-foot Daniel Ridge Falls at the end of the ride.
Hydration: 70-ounce reservoir
Suggested listening: Jane's Addiction - Three Days

Advanced: Clawhammer to Bennett Gap - 11 miles
Starting off with a 4-mile gravel-road climb, Clawhammer makes sure that you earn your downhill. Once you hit the singletrack, there's another short climb, and the fun begins. The ridgeline descent is long and blazing fast, with a few killer scenic views and one gnarly technical section called the Devil's Staircase. The rest of the trail drops 1,000 feet in a mile and a half, with plenty of small drops and water-bars.
Hydration: 100-ounce reservoir with bottle backup
Suggested listening: Motley Crue - Shout at the Devil

Fruita, Colorado

Overview: About 1,700 miles west of Asheville (and 15 miles west of Grand Junction on Colorado’s Western Slope) is the teeming megalopolis of Fruita, Colorado. Fruit boasts a population of just over 10,000. This agricultural town also boasts some of the most unique and exciting mountain bike trail systems in the United States. The high-desert trails in Fruita possess the one quality that most trails lack. Flow. The trails in Fruita have gobs of flow. They are overflowing with flow. Check 'em out. You'll actually think that you're flying. The man with all the answers in Fruita is Noah Sears at Over the Edge Sports. Talk to him, and he’ll get you pointed in the right direction.

Beginner: Prime Cut - 2.1 miles
Prime Cut is a great intro to the wide-open desert style of Fruita riding because the trail gives you the terrain and feel of the more technical trails in Fruita without the inherent dangers of the ridgeline rides. For the beginner, it's a solid crank with a few tech sections but by no means easy. You'll walk the bike a couple times, but if you're relatively sane, this won't end any relationships. For the experienced rider it's a middle-ring hammer-fest to get your heart-rate cranked up for the more challenging rides. It also makes for a rippin’ midnight headlamp ride, if you're into that kind of thing.
Hydration: 70-ounce reservoir
Suggested listening: Band of Horses - The Funeral

Intermediate: Zippety-Do-Da - 9 miles
This is where it gets really good. Fruita has three or four of these ridgeline rides that make you wonder, “Why aren't all mountain bike trails just like this?” Zippety-Do-Da starts out with a short, painless climb from the popular Bookcliff campground. Once you top out the climb, you can see nearly the entire trail falling away from you. Desert—no trees ... get it? Hit the pedals a couple times, and ride the roller-coaster. This is the definition of flow. Remember the best powder day of your life? Boring. Once you get used to drop-it-like-it's-hot speed on a razor-edge ridgeline, tunnel-vision takes over, and all is right with the world. This is prime territory for singlespeed hardtails and short-travel XC rigs. There really aren't any drops out here, and not too many surprises. Just smooth speed and face-peeling grins.
Hydration: 70-ounce reservoir
Suggested listening: Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Zero

Advanced: Horsethief Bench - 8 miles
Lock up your hardtail, and grab the big boy; this one gets pretty rough. Horsethief Bench is in the Kokopelli’s Trail system. Access the trail from Mary's Loop, which is a 15-minute drive from Fruita. Horsethief starts off with a bang: a 100-foot staircase that will challenge the most-experienced freerider. Once you reach the bench, the trail flattens out quite a bit with a mix of tight singletrack, drops, and technical features. You’ll experience jaw-dropping scenery around every turn. Keep the camera handy, and count on this trail taking quite a bit longer than the mileage suggests it should. It's not just a ride; it's an experience.
Hydration: 100-ounce reservoir
Suggested listening: Helmet - Biscuits for Smut

Seattle region, Washington

For years, Seattle has been known as the home of Sir-Mix-A-Lot, the first man ever to be officially knighted for hip-hop skills (and uh, double-up, uh, uh); but Seattle offers so much more. This gem of the Northwest has some really, really good coffee. We mean really good. The area has some truly spectacular trails, too, if you know where to look. For detailed, up-to-the minute trail beta, talk to Zeb at Big Tree Bikes. Oh, and because of the pretty-much-constant drizzle, you’ll want to bring a lightweight rain jacket. So grab a cup of joe, and flip on the intermittent wipers; we’re off!

Beginner: St. Edwards State Park - 10 total miles, but you can cut it up into smaller loops.
St. Edwards State Park has a really cool trail system that weaves through the huge evergreen forest with a little something at every skill level. Beginners will find it challenging with a couple of steep shots thrown in, but there’s nothing that will kill you. Some skinnies and booters lurk here and there—but nothing that you can’t avoid. Double-bonus: St. Edwards is located super close to downtown, so access is easy, and the locals are religious about keeping the trails clean, which means it doesn’t feel like an urban trail.
Hydration: 70-ounce reservoir
Suggested listening: Sir Mix-A-Lot - Posse on Broadway

I-5 Colonnade Mountain Bike Park - as many miles as you’d like
The I-5 Colonnade is not really a trail, in the true sense of the word. It’s more of a mountain bike amusement park. The Colonnade is located under an Interstate 5 overpass (east of Lake Union), so it’s rideable 365 days a year. This park has it all—tabletops, kickers, skinnies, ladder bridges, technical rocky sections, drops of various heights, and a pump track. It’s as beginner, intermediate, or expert as you want to make it.
Hydration: 12-pack of Miller High Life
Suggested listening: Devotchka - The Enemy Guns

Advanced: Noble Knob to Palisades - roughly 15 miles
This one's a madman. Be sure to bring along at least 6 inches of travel front and rear and a mighty pair of hydraulic stoppers. Palisades is fast as hell. The flow on this trail is absolutely unbelievable, and the only thing that will slow you down is your own fear. For the experienced rider, this is speed Nirvana (get it? Seattle?). This ride, 70 miles southwest of Seattle near Mount Rainier, gives you an incredible variety of terrain, offering everything from quick, punchy switchbacks to long, drawn-out sections of blazing-fast, white-knuckle singletrack. The views of Mount Rainier are absolutely heart-stopping, if you care enough to slow down. Please, please, please don't bring an inexperienced rider. You are guaranteed to hate each other equally by the end of this ride.
Hydration: 100-ounce reservoir
Suggested listening: Ministry - Stigmata

This spring—when you can finally pry the beer can out of your hand and peel your fat arse off the couch—hit the road with a couple buddies, a few bikes, and a camera, and check out one of these MTB hot spots. It’ll do ya good.

We’d like to point out that we wrote an entire mountain bike article without mentioning Moab once. Oh, damn it.