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There's a reason you keep striking out; your pickup lines are really, really bad. (Telling people you're a 'centaur from the waist down' is not only creeper-ific, it also doesn't make any sense.) Instead, try wearing the super-classy Ezekiel Gravel Shorts and talking about her for once—you've got nothing to lose, right?

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Ezekiel Gravel Short - Men's

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  • Familiarity: I've put it through the wringer

Waist fits a little big, great length and detail.