Some stains just won't come out.
Remember last week when you were picking up snacks at the convenience store? And then a rogue ninja swooped in and started killing everybody in sight? And how you soiled yourself, because you totally thought you were going to die—but then he spared your life because it turns out you both really like teryaki-flavored beef jerky? You should strongly consider picking up the Quiksilver Rockefeller Shorts to replace the ones you were wearing at the time.