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If all else fails, lie about having a background in massage therapy.

Button up the RVCA Chuck Plaid Shirt, splash on a handful of expensive cologne, and wait for the cougars to pounce. The yarn-dye plaid fabric and patch pocket with woven label function as a magnet for face lifts, boob jobs, and expensive handbags.

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RVCA Chuck Plaid Shirt - Long-Sleeve - Men's

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