He didn't think it was funny either.
If you put on the Von Zipper Scratchy T-Shirt and get itchy, it's not the soft cotton bothering you. You'd better check for fleas. First of all, retrace your steps—did you have any close encounters with dogs, cats, or dirty beach bums? After a few head-scratching minutes, you finally remember that, last night, you thought it be hilarious to put this cotton T-shirt on your buddy's dog Beast.